Shuohan Yuan

So This Is What It Feels Like…

2024, Single-channel video, 24 minutes.

So This Is What It Feels Like… is a work in which I reconstruct, in my own narrative form, experiences I encountered after becoming a working adult. It focuses on how the body and mind respond to what emerges through accidental encounters: the anxiety of a first adventure, the panic of facing the unexpected, and the heightened awareness of the present that comes precisely from being physically and emotionally distant.

The work reflects on questions and subtle discomforts that arise from my own gender and nationality. Through a small, personal frame, I share a limited field of vision—one that begins with myself but gradually reaches toward others. Depending on context, language has the power to shape how people perceive situations and realities. There is no single certain or correct direction in which things inevitably develop.

As events unfold, I observe Japanese society and my surrounding environment from the position of an outsider. Concerning the place where I now find myself, I continue to change inwardly—thinking, sensing, and quietly telling myself, “So this is what it feels like,” while moving forward.